The Scoop on Speech and Language

Sydney’s Tuesday Tid Bit 8.18.20[

To support a child’s speech and language, here are some quick tips for you to try at home while with your little ones!  1. MODEL, MODEL, MODEL and 2. REDUCE PRESSURE.  Continue reading below to learn more on the “Why” and “How” for each of these strategies.  

1.     Don’t say, “Say____” -- We are ALL guilty of this.  I even catch myself doing this from time to time!  “Say purple,” “Say help please,” “Say cookie” ...etc. but rather than telling them to say something, we should simply MODEL what we want them to say.

Immediately following that model, provide an opportunity for them to imitate or copy you.  Believe it or not, reducing the pressure to speak can actually help your child learn to talk! Next time you are wanting them to say, “apple,” show them the item and say, “Apple” then look at them expectantly and wait.  Silence is a tough thing for us…so I must count anywhere from 5-8 seconds in my head before saying anything more.  After those long 8 seconds, if they do not copy you, that’s okay!  Model “apple” again and give them the apple.  

By reducing the pressure, you are reducing any frustration the child may feel and they are much more likely to try and imitate/copy you in the future.  And do not forget to provide that wait time.  You would be surprised how much kids (& even adults!) have to say when we just give them the chance to say it. 

2.     Life is not a quiz!  Reduce the number of questions you ask.  I was at a conference once and another speech therapist gave an analogy that really put this in perspective for me.  She said to imagine you are out to dinner with someone and the person you are with starts to only ask questions.  It may sound something like this: “What’s your favorite color?” “what’s your favorite food?” “Do you like puppy's?”, “Where do you work?” & so on… you get the picture.  It is safe to say you are ready to find any way to get up and remove yourself from the situation.  You may even feel as if you are being interrogated or interviewed rather than experiencing an enjoyable conversation with another individual as you intended when you agreed to dinner.  That is exactly how our children feel when we are constantly bombarding them with question after question.  Questions can bring conversations to a quick halt.  They often limit language opportunities because a question may have a single word response.  They create pressure and quickly dominate an interaction.   

My rule of thumb is 3:1. For every 1 question we ask, we should be making three comments or statements.  For example, if you are playing with toy food & grab an apple, rather than asking, “what is this?” or “What color is this?” you could say “oh I see an apple!  It's a yummy apple.  I love to eat apples.  Do you like to eat apples?” If they do not respond to your question, remember from the earlier tip, simply model what their response may be and move on. (Because as a parent, you likely know what their response will be without them having to clearly state that to you)  Do not force the child to answer, this is placing pressure on speaking and could unintentionally lead to your child developing negative feelings about speaking.  Talk about what you see, what they see, and they will start to do the same, without the pressure of being put on the spot.  

After reading this, I think most of us are thinking that we would have no problem going home and using these strategies while playing with our children.  In-part, that is true, they are EASY concepts for us to understand. However, do not be surprised if you quickly start to realize just how often you ask your child a question… or verbally say, “Say___.”  So, while these new shifts in how we talk with our children are easy to do... it’s eliminating those less ideal ones that we often automatically do without even realizing it.  

But hey, the way I see it, if you catch yourself saying “Say__” just once this week and at once want to reprimand yourself…do not!... Because that means that you are increasing your awareness of how you are setting up conversations with your child and notice those moments when you could have done it a little differently.  That is a huge step from where we may have been just last week.  I catch myself telling a child to “say apple” too and this is my profession! That I do all day every!  It comes down to simply being aware of what we can do to support our child’s language development and shifting our own behaviors to do so whenever we can.